This Loneliness Is Killing Me – NOT!

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 “How To Be Alone, But Not Lonely”

I grew up in a generation with the established theory that it is a “known fact” that men and women had to be a couple to be complete. Well, today it is a “known fact” that many men and women do not have a significant other in their lives and are not only surviving, but are quite happy – Thank You Very Much! There are countless individuals who either by choice or circumstance are living a singular life style. It’s not always easy, but one thing that helps is to recognize that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Not having a significant other in your life does not necessarily mean that you allow being on your own to create the feeling of loneliness. When we become comfortable with who and what we are, the time that we spend alone can be not only acceptable, but downright enjoyable. I, for one, totally enjoy the time I spend with me. It allows me to do that much needed introspection and locate that quiet place inside me that answers my questions and helps me solve my problems. If meditation, guided imagery or self-hypnosis is not part of your personal repertoire, then perhaps the following acronyms might help you to shoo away that feeling of loneliness when it starts to creep into your subconscious.

Redefine the word ALONE

A ct – Do something – Move – Get physical
L ove you – are a worthwhile person – get to know you – spend quality time with you
O bserve – become aware – get outside yourself and get involved
N o Negatives – people, situations, or thinking – replace with Positive Self Talk
E motional CPR – Cancel, Positively Replace all negative thoughts with good things
(request my Emotional CPR book for FREE by emailing me at

Get some PEP

P en-to-Paper – use to eliminate pain, guilt or regret (you can throw away or keep)
E motional CPR – use to replace any and all negatives
P ositive Self Talk – reinforce all the good that is around you, in you and a part of you

Establish a Positive PARR for life

P erception – which creates our
A ttitude – which determines our
R eaction – which produces the
R esult – Positive

Does it take time and effort to become so comfortable with yourself that you can’t relate to the word lonely? Yes, definitely. But how many of us spend not only time, but significant amounts of money to learn how to play golf or tennis, and attend countless seminars and workshops to improve our skills for our professional lives? But when it comes to what should be our most important priority “ourselves”, we revert to whatever excuse comes to mind; it’s the weekend, I’ll start on Monday, It’s just too hard, I just don’t have the time. Well, let me say this, “You are the only You, You have,” and you are worth the effort it takes, to make you feel good about you.

My favorite dictionary definition for the word alone is “Being without equal; unique”. So the next time that you find yourself alone, remember that you are “without equal” and look for that special part of you that makes you “unique” and celebrate the “YOU” that you are.


Contact Dot with any questions or comments.